The Subtlety Sisters, Miladies Leonie and Amanda had a spiffing time at the Newark Steampunk Festival over the spring bank holiday weekend. 

The weather was set fair and the sun was almost over the yardarm when we sallied forth in our best finery for fun and frolics at the Saturday picnic, where the theme of the day was Around The World In 80 Days. We were joined by the boys; Master Harold and his brother, the renowned land pirate Joey Joe No Fingers; Amanda’s friend from the Southern Regions, Susanna; Lisa and her niece Ola and, later, Milady Sharon when she paid us a surprise visit. We arrived at the appointed place, the beautiful St Mary’s Remembrance Gardens behind St Mary Magdalene church, and made our way to our feasting table. Being triskaidekaphiles we were unfazed to find we had been allotted table 13 which we covered with fine linen and lace cloths and laid out our vittles until a veritable feast was spread before us. We dined on roast fowl, crisp rosemary potatoes and the tenderest morsels of asparagus and long-stemmed broccoli. To compliment our meal we sipped copious amounts of sparkling Crémant de Bordeaux whilst Master Harold and Cap’n Joey Joe imbibed soft drinks of their choice from delicate champagne saucers. We completed our feast with that most quintessential of English desserts; strawberries and cream. Following our repast we took a turn around the gardens where we chanced upon likeminded friends old and new with whom we spent a pleasant moment or two in idle gossip whilst admiring the superb table ornamentations of our fellow steampunkers. Our perambulations soon led us to the gaily decorated Georgian market square where the muted hubbub of the market acted as a counterpoint to the music of the travelling minstrels and the mechanical notes of the hurdy-gurdy, creating a joyful cacophony which lifted our spirits as we perused the wares of the market traders. Until Master Harold decided to wander off on his own. We made a frantic search; everyone we asked had seen him only moments before; but to to no avail since he remained quite elusive, something his grandad is extremely good at as well! We were greatly relieved when he was eventually located by Lisa who took him home with her and it wasn’t long before we weary souls followed suit. After collecting Master Harold we headed home where we thankfully handed him and Cap’n Joey Joe back to their grandad. Once they had departed we took a well earned rest before readying ourselves for the evening’s festivities. 

As usual the Subtlety Sisters, along with Susanna, were a little tardy, arriving quite late to the ball. We swooshed into the ornate Regency ballroom where we were greeted by Lisa who guided us to our table. We squeezed into our seats and allowed ourselves to be entertained by that popular minstrel Alice Strange, whose performance ran throughout our buffet meal. We were served a delightful selection of savouries and sweetmeats all brought to our table on platters; much better than the usual free for all rush to a communal buffet table where the first to be served have finished eating before the last have even got their food. Once all had eaten their fill the tables were cleared and the dancing commenced. Ladies dressed in sumptuous and colourful ballgowns and gentlemen in elegant uniforms or evening attire took to the floor, twirling and swirling beneath the high, arched windows, gilded mouldings and twinkling chandeliers. It was quite atmospheric, reminding me of a scene at a vampire ball in a film I once watched. The Subtlety Sisters weren’t slow in joining in and danced the night away with carefree abandon, Milady Amanda swishing and swooshing her train like a child at her first party.

All to soon the evening drew to a close and it was time to say our farewells; which took over half an hour; and glide down the impressive staircase and out into the warm night air. Where we spent another half hour chatting to folk in the market square and capturing the late night atmosphere with my little camera.

The weather on Sunday morning was overcast and somewhat cooler than the previous day. Milady Amanda was up early, scowling as she poked and prodded me awake, non too pleased with my being still recumbent in my warm bed when I was supposed to be assisting her to set out her wares on her market stall. To be fair, I’m not really much use setting up as I don’t know how she wants to arrange her hats. And it was a bit moot since there was no space in Susanna’s carriage for me anyway. In the end I wasn’t that far behind and arrived whilst she was still titivating her stall. I wandered around taking a few photos and chatting to those hardy folk who had managed to be up and about so early after enjoying the previous night of revelry. We were soon joined by Susanna, with Lisa and Sharon popping by for a chat, along with many other fine ladies, gents, pirates, inventors, pilots of flying machines and military types throughout the day. At the appointed time Sharon and myself followed Lisa’s example and made our way to The Flying Circus to join the Steampunk Parade. It was uplifting to see such a diverse gathering of folk joining in and enjoying themselves as we paraded through the streets and round the market square, ending up in front of the town hall to hear the speech and listen to the music of the travelling minstrels. Milady Amanda did a fair trade that day so returned home the happiest of bunnies and although there were more revelries that evening we were all so fatigued we decided to give it a miss and retire to bed early. 

The following day I journeyed up The Great North Road back to my own humble abode where I was informed that Master Harold and Cap’n Joey have been regaling everyone with their tales of the great steampunk picnic.